


not every saint is a fool

by GrumpiestCat



Series: Missing Scenes, Missing Timelines [26]
Category: Zero Time Dilemma
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, reference to past abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-31
Updated: 2018-10-31
Packaged: 2019-08-11 02:37:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16467077
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GrumpiestCat/pseuds/GrumpiestCat
Summary: She just ... shouldn't have attacked Sigma.





	not every saint is a fool

She just … shouldn’t have attacked Sigma.

 

That one thought rattled around in her mind, bouncing off the walls, repeating until the words didn’t even seem to make sense anymore.  Diana felt one of her barrettes hanging loosely from her hair; it must have popped open in the … the struggle.  She numbly pulled it out, feeling the pinch of a few strands coming with it.

 

It probably smeared blood on her cheek.

 

She just … she shouldn’t have attacked Sigma.

 

Diana had done the best she could with the first aid kit behind the bar.  He had been lucky to escape with only a laceration on his arm.  Phi had helped him wash it off in the small sink and then Diana slathered it with what appeared to be antibiotic cream – could she trust anything here? – and bandaged it up using almost all the gauze.

 

The body on the floor was mostly covered by the cloak; the hood obscured half of the face, but it was obvious it was a woman, and the heels, the black nails, and the hair that was visible gave it away. 

 

She shouldn’t have attacked Sigma.

 

Diana had noticed movement out of the corner of her eye and her fear instinct – honed by years with her ex-husband – kicked into gear.  Her reaction wasn’t fast enough to keep Sigma unscathed, but she threw … Mira … off-balance enough to ensure the wound wasn’t fatal.  The scalpel had dropped to the floor as he shoved Diana aside and tackled his attacker.  Her hip still hurt from where she hit the floor.

 

But pain meant she was alive.

 

Mira had been surprisingly strong, even as the hood fell over her face entirely.  She couldn’t have seen a thing, but she managed to flip Sigma onto his back as she reached for where her weapon was. 

 

Had been.

 

She shouldn’t have attacked Sigma.

 

Phi had been there at that point.  Yelling.  Running.  But not quickly enough.  Sigma had thrown up his hands, maybe to fight back, maybe to cover his face.  It was a natural reaction, but it left his trunk exposed.  Too many places to be stabbed, where a wound could be fatal in this environment.  In any environment.  Just one thrust with the scalpel would have done it.

 

If Mira had had the scalpel.

 

Diana didn’t remember picking it up, but she clearly remembered driving it into … into Mira’s side.  She had reached out and felt the ribs under the cloak, with her index and middle fingers already separated, forming a V shape.  Providing a target.  She hadn’t even realized she was doing it.  Traumatic, open pneumothorax.  Signs: arterial spray when sharp object was removed, increased heart rate, cyanosis.  Symptoms: likely dyspnea, chest pain, confusion, feeling weak.  Patient … patient …

 

Sometimes death is unbearably loud.

 

Blood splattered when the scalpel was removed, and again when Diana drew it across Mira’s neck.  She saw her hand moving as if without her permission.  It was unnecessary; treatment for a collapsed lung was nearly impossible here, and even if she could re-inflate it, infection was almost guaranteed.  But as long as Mira drew breath – even if they were only rasping, gasping breaths – she was a threat.

 

It could also be seen as an act of mercy. Perhaps that’s how Sigma and Phi will interpret it, but Diana knew better. 

 

They were in danger. 

 

She had to protect them. 

 

Protect herself.

 

Sigma had pushed Mira’s bleeding body off him and then gently taken the scalpel from Diana’s hand.  Even after everything, even though she had caused the wounds, Diana found herself trying to render aid.  There had been a tinkling sound as he threw the scalpel behind them, away from Mira, and then embraced her.  She had heard Phi’s footsteps coming closer, but couldn’t see anything as she buried her face into Sigma’s chest, as he held her tightly.

 

She wasn’t crying.  She hadn’t cried.  She couldn’t cry.  It wouldn’t do anything.  There was no choice.

 

She shouldn’t have attacked Sigma.

 

So she just stood there and shook.  After what seemed like years, Sigma had released her.  Mira’s face, contorted in something almost like surprise, as if she couldn’t believe Diana had … had killed her.  In reality, it was probably just an artifact from her trying to breathe, as her lung collapsed, as blood pooled in the thoracic cavity.

 

He had been waiting for Mira to die, Diana had realized.  He held her so she wouldn’t see it.  She’s seen death before, even death that she’s been responsible for by not being able to revive a patient, but never death she intentionally caused.  She’s wondered before if she would be able to fight back, kill someone in self-defense.

 

Apparently she could.

 

“There’s no point in staring at this,” Phi said, softly, after Sigma was attended to, as Diana stood over Mira.

 

Everything from before made sense.  Sort of.  Mira must be the one behind everything.  Zero.  The one responsible for the collars Diana had seen on C-Team in her memory, or vision, or whatever that had been.  Before she came to the D Ward, she must have stabbed Eric.  Q was somehow still alive, so –  

 

A strong hand on her upper arm, turning her around.  Then touching her neck, her face.  She could feel the blood drying there.  Sigma brought up a cold, wet rag and started wiping away the evidence of her crime.

 

“Are you okay?”

 

“Yeah,” she said, out of reflex.  Always say everything is okay, even if your ribs hurt from being kicked, if your face was sore under the mountain of concealer, even if you felt like crying.  Just say you’re okay, don’t let them see.  Don’t let them see.  Don’t let them see. 

 

He whispered her name as his thumb stroked her cheeks gently and he _saw_ her and it was as if her bones turned to dust; she collapsed against him.

 

“No,” she mumbled into his shirt.  “No, no, no, no, _no, no, NO, NO, IT’S NOT OKAY._ ”

 

She heard the sound of the wet rag hitting the floor.  Sigma lifted her up in his arms like she weighed nothing; when he went to put her down on the sofa, she clung to him, beyond caring if she looked pathetic.

 

“I’m not going anywhere.  I’m here.  I got you.”

 

True to his word, he sat next to her and let her settle back in his arms.  She finally let herself cry, the heaving sobs getting worse when she felt Phi join them on the couch and felt her hand rubbing her back.

 

“You probably saved our lives, Diana.  You definitely saved Sigma’s.”

 

She started hiccupping and Sigma’s arms tightened around her.  Phi just kept rubbing her back, until the hiccupping stopped, until the tears stopped, until Diana’s eyes hurt so much she couldn’t keep them open.  The moment the voice came over the intercom, she shook her head, dug her fingers into Sigma’s back, willing it to stop.

 

"Now announcing the current cas-”

 

It was cut off so abruptly that she untangled herself to look around and see if there was some indication of a damaged speaker.  Phi’s hand stilled on her back.

 

“Did you guys hear that?” Phi asked.

 

Sigma nodded.  “It started to announce the current casualties, but it stopped.”

 

“What does that mean?”

 

Neither of them had an answer for Phi.  Diana started trembling and as soon as Sigma noticed, he pulled her in close again.

 

“Come here.  You’re in shock.”

 

“What if he puts us to sleep again?”  She gripped his shirt, as if that could somehow stop the drugs in her bracelet.  “I can’t forget all this.  I can’t forget what I did.”

 

The three of them sat in silence, waiting for the inevitable injection.  At some point, Phi moved to the other side of Sigma and leaned into him, resting her head on his shoulder. 

 

“What is he waiting for?” she grumbled.

 

As if on cue, the horrible voice started again.

 

“Now announcing the current casualties. Q-Team: Q, Mira, Eric. C-Team: Carlos, Junpei, Akane. These six are now deceased. As a result, six X-Passes will be revealed.  Change, Koi, Ice, Fire, Crash, Five. That is all."

 

Again, Diana pulled away from Sigma, this time getting up and walking to the board with the X-Passes.  She heard soft, light footfalls behind her, then heavier ones.  Standing in front of the board, she ran her hand over the words, stopping on Q’s.

 

Something wasn’t right.

 

C-Team and Eric were dead before Mira attacked.  There hadn’t been enough time between the announcement and the attack for Mira to kill Q.  How was he dead now?

 

It didn’t make sense.

 

“Diana, can you move your hand?”

 

She closed her eyes for a moment before turning to Sigma.  He had the other five X-Passes already typed in.

 

It made sense to leave.  There was no point in staying here.  But … how could she face the outside world after what she did?

 

She heard Phi recite Q’s X-Pass and tease him for not remembering it.

 

“I was a little distracted when they were read off,” he shot back, a definite edge in his voice.  He pressed the final button and as the door began to rumble and rise, he sought out her hand and squeezed it tightly.  “No running back this time.”

 

She didn’t know what he was talking about, until her vision went blurry and a sharp pain seared through her eyes.  She could see herself turning away from Sigma and Phi and rushing back under the X-Door as it closed, trapping her there forever.

 

Even though that never happened.

 

Her body felt numb as Sigma guided her out.  Phi came around to her other side and took her free hand, probably on Sigma’s prompting.  It wasn’t until the door clattered shut behind them that they loosened their grips.  And she let herself fall to her knees.

 

“I can’t … I’m a murderer now.”

 

She shouldn’t have attacked Sigma. She just shouldn’t have.

 

“Self-defense,” Phi insisted.  “We’re both witnesses.  Nothing is going to happen to you.  Not to mention, there’s no way Mira just decided to be a psycho in the last few hours.  There are bodies in her past, I’m almost sure of it.”

 

Sigma knelt in front of her and cupped her face in his hands.  “We’re going to take care of you.”

 

“My therapist is a joke,” Diana blurted out.  “She wanted me to ‘accept responsibility’ for my ex-hus-”

 

“Then fuck that therapist.”  He leaned forward, pressed his forehead to hers, his voice soft and gentle in spite of his harsh language.   “Whatever you need, we’ll take care of you.”

 

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Phi crouch down to their level.  She didn’t say anything; she just put her hand on Diana’s shoulder and gave it a light squeeze.

 

She didn’t know why, but Diana felt a stronger connection to the two of them than she had to anyone else in her life before, except for her parents.

 

God, her parents.

 

What would they think of her now?

 

“Our first step is getting out of here and getting to the police,” Sigma said.  She let him pull her up until she was standing again.  He kept hold of her left hand while Phi took her right.  A strange sense of peace fell over her as they moved forward.  It wasn’t okay, and she wasn’t okay. 

 

But she wasn’t alone.

 

No matter what, she wasn’t alone.

 

 

(fin.)


End file.
